Friday, October 24, 2014

Assignment #2: Corporeal Marker Project

For this assignment, we chose to use Avengers band-aids as our corporeal marker. The band-aids were very colorful and approximately 3 inches long, making them impossible not to notice. These band-aids were placed on our faces, normally on the right or left cheek. The marker was worn in 9 different locations around Athens, Ohio, 2 of which were a part of group outings. The majority of the blog focuses on our experiences and thoughts about wearing these markers in various places. We have divided our blog post into the 9 different locations because we feel it is important to specifically look at how this marker affected us spatially.

An example of one of our Avengers band-aids that we wore on our cheeks. This band-aid depicts the Hulk.

Location 1: Clippinger Lobby-October 7, from 2:50-3:20PM (Group)


After our Social Geographies class, the four of us put on our marker for the first time.We each had initial reactions. Maria, Megan, and Logan all felt extremely out-of-place. Maria even states in her journal that she “wanted to take it off.” However, Terri felt differently. She writes, the band-aid “was annoying at first to have something on your face and not be able to do anything with it. But with all of us going through the same thing, there is a sense of camaraderie which made the situation easier. It was in a sense less isolating having a group of people going through the same thing as you.”

While Maria and Megan were waiting in the hallway for Terri and Logan, they received many odd stares and smirks from strangers, both students and professors. Megan explicitly states “feeling judged” in her journal. However, Maria’s first interaction with a stranger was not related to her marker. In her journal, she explains how a stranger came up to her to ask a question that didn’t acknowledge the markers. She was surprised nothing was said about the marker.
   Megan and Terri in the lobby

Once the entire group was together, we moved to sit down. In the lobby, we had numerous encounters with fellow geography graduate students. Maria explains discusses the first interaction: “My roommate seriously asked me if my cat scratched me and then looked extremely confused as she saw the others wearing the markers too.” She looked at us weird and explained the marker, but she was still clearly confused after the explanation. Logan remembers another colleague along with many strangers who “smirked after looking at us, but didn’t say anything.” Megan adds to this idea explaining they would “immediately look down, as if we made them uncomfortable. It is almost as if we were not normal and shouldn’t be occupying a ‘normal’ person’s space.” A last encounter with a peer is described and analyzed by Megan’s journal:
“At one point, a peer had passed our group. She had first spotted the band-aid on me, saying ‘Do you have a thing on your face?’ Almost immediately she looked at the rest of my group and exclaimed “Oh, you all do. How fun!” She never asked why we had band-aids on or how we felt about our marker. Instead, she made judgments and assumptions about the marker without actually listening to those wearing it. This reminded me of Hansen and Philo’s (2007) article on disabled bodies and spaces. In this article and in class, we discussed how certain spaces are made to ease the lives of handicapped individuals. However, rules and regulations regarding the disabled are not made by the disabled, but rather people who do not have these disabilities. Our society decides what is best for other types of people without their input and judge them based on ‘normal’ standards. I felt we saw this idea in action today when my peer judged us and our markers based on “normal” standards. To her the marker was fun because it was a super-hero band-aid, but maybe this marker has a negative connotation to us.”

Further, since we were stationary in this location, Terri felt we created a spatial boundary. In her journal she explains, “at one point, I think our group kind of created a temporary spatial boundary between us and the public. We were grouped together loosely yet with our markers marking us together, you can almost see the barrier between us and people that do not know us.”
Overall, we received many looks and stares with a few comments. However, no one wanted to discuss the marker, as if it made them feel uncomfortable. Even though Maria, Megan, and Logan felt isolated when initially putting the marker on, eventually, we all felt a sense of community. Maria reflects upon the experience of being in a group, “I did feel some solidarity by being in a group, since we could laugh with each other and discuss common experiences with wearing the markers.” Logan agreed by saying “I felt a sense of unity because we were all together, sharing the experience.”
Megan, Terri, and Logan in the lobby of Clippinger

Location 2: Baker Center-October 7, from 3:30-4PM (Group)


We entered Baker Center as a group stood in the lobby to discuss our plan of action. This was where we started to notice people noticing us. We noticed longer stares and smirks similar to what we encountered in Clippinger lobby. Megan notes, “A man even changed his path to avoid our group. Clearly, our band-aids scared this man enough to give us a larger spatial boundary than normal.” We felt an urge to move on from here. This is when Maria and Megan decided to purchase drinks in West 82 on the first floor. While browsing we didn’t get any obvious attention. People seemed too busy looking for food. However, at the register, the band-aids were noticed. Megan was the first one to interact with the cashier. She reflects in her journal, “The cashier was extremely uncomfortable while she rang me up. She immediately saw the band-aid and then looked down. After that, she did not make eye contact with me. This made me feel unwanted and unwelcomed in West 82, as if I was not ‘normal’ enough to be there.” Maria shared a similar experience of feeling unwelcomed, “This felt extremely awkward and I was kind of amazed. She must have felt very uncomfortable for some reason, and because of this observation I felt like I needed to leave the space as soon as I could.”


After this, we moved up through Baker via escalator to the Front Room. Logan noticed on the escalator, “ One guy looked up at us and almost laughed. At that point, I didn’t care. We had the marker on for a significant amount of time and it felt normal.”  This is documented in the video linked below.


The video above also shows Terri purchasing a drink at the Front Room. Terri explains her experience, “Logan stood with me as I purchased my drink. The reception from the Starbucks cashier was considerably different from West 82. He was friendly and maybe even a little amused when he noticed I was not alone in wearing the marker on my face. The two total opposite reactions from basically the same job functions is definitely interesting to note.” However, Logan noticed the worker who handed the drink to Terri was not as assumed. Logan states “before handing her drink, she gave both of us a weird look and then handed Terri the drink without saying a word.” A majority of our interactions modeled this woman’s, especially customers sitting in the coffee shop.  
Overall, due to the significant time that passed, we all did not really notice our marker. A sense of unity allowed us to become comfortable with ourselves and our marker, which we would find out later was not the case when wearing it as an individual. 

Location 3: Geography Graduate Office (Clippinger 100)-October 7, from 4-4:30PM (Logan)

Doing work in the office.

The geography graduate student office was the first place I wore the marker on my own. Upon walking into the office, a peer noticed the marker and politely asked what had happened to my face. After mentioning that it was for a class project, he had nothing further to say. A second peer, the same one that had noticed the marker while wearing it together as a group, again saw the marker on my face. Instead of asking for an explanation as to why the maker was on my face, she simply ignored the marker. Because I was around my peers while in the grad office, I did not feel as judged. Being familiar with and comfortable around the people in the office definitely played down the inconvenience of having a visible imperfection on my face.

Location 4: Statistics Class (Clippinger 103)-October 7, from 4:30-6PM (Logan)

The second place I wore the marker on my own was in the class that I TA for. I was expecting a greater reaction from the professor than what I received. Instead of being concerned with why I had a band-aid on my face, the professor simply glanced at me with a confused look failing to acknowledge that she had seen the marker. Many students ignored the marker on my face. Only one student gave any sign of recognition but instead of asking about the marker, he simply smiled and then looked away. While in the class, I felt very uncomfortable. It was obvious that people noticed the marker but their reaction made me feel separated. . I felt as if I were an outcast simply because I was displaying an imperfection. Displaying the marker on my face reminded me of the Hanson and Philo article on disability. Similar to a physical impairment causing a disabled person to be met with suspicion, I felt that by displaying a physical imperfection on my face, I was met with the same suspicion. Because it is not normal to display a maker on one’s face, I was labeled as an “other”. In doing so, I could physically sense a difference between me and everyone else.
 
Location 5: Kroger-October 8, from 2:45-3:30PM (Megan)
Many of my feelings about my experience at Kroger are discussed in a video blog I recorded after returning from the store, which is posted below:


 
To expand on some of my thoughts in the video, I thought I would also write about my feelings at Kroger. Overall, this was a much different experience than when I was in a group. As a group, I felt safe and united, as three other people were receiving the same looks of judgement and criticism. However, alone I had to deal with them without someone to talk to about it. It made me feel much more isolated since I was not around others that had the same marker. People’s looks made me feel as if Kroger was not a space for me and I should not be there. I didn’t feel free to be myself, but rather felt the need to look down and quickly gather my items and leave. This feeling reminded me of the Design Studio for Social Intervention paper (“Spatial Justice”). At one point, the authors explain the idea of spatial claim, which is the right to be and become as an individual or group in a space. Further, it explains this includes having the “ability to dwell or stay in a given place” (p. 4). Although I was able to physically enter the store, I did not feel welcomed to stay longer than needed due to the weird looks I received. I felt inferior and as if I was intruding on a “normal” person’s space, causing a social injustice for anyone who looks or feels different. Thus, I was denied the ability to stay in Kroger based on my marker. 

Location 6: Bike Path between Peden Stadium and Stimson Ave, from 6-6:45PM (Maria)

Ready to run
I put the marker on before I left my apartment to drive to the bike path. I was curious to see if this was something that I would feel strongly about while driving. I actually felt vulnerable as soon as I stepped out of my apartment and crossed the street to my car. I can’t tell if the people passing in their cars (I live at a busy intersection) are noticing my face. I didn’t actually experience anything while driving across town, but as soon as I got out of my car and approached the trail ready to run, a woman walking towards me just gawked and looked twice. It was like I had I spider on my face or something, the way she was looking at me. But I just started running after she passed me.

The activity of running created a strange situation for me while wearing the corporeal marker. Usually while I run, I am not focused on other people at all. I just try to get focused. However, for this assignment I was making a conscious effort to look at people to see if they were looking at me. The act of me looking at every person who passed me felt like more of a reason for attention, since people usually just stare ahead while running or biking. But actually, while running, I did not get any unusual attention from other runners or bikers. Some people who were walking or sitting on benches looked at me, but not in an unusual way. This made me wonder if wearing a bandaid on my face in the context of running outdoors was not unexpected. People wear strange things to run anyway. I’d also like to acknowledge that in both Athens and other running trails I’ve been on, there are stranger people and things to be seen. I’d also like to consider the place, public but still sort of “hidden,” as a place where people really do mind their own business, like how you are not supposed to make eye contact with people on public transportation, and if you do, you’re probably dangerous or crazy. This makes me think of bell hooks piece on "Choosing the Margin." In certain ways that I had felt unwelcome in the "center" (Clippinger and Baker Center), I had alternatively felt more accepted and able to be myself out on the bike path. This "marginal" space was a better place to exist in this instance.

Location 7: Jackie O's-October 9, from 8-10PM (Megan)

Inside of Jackie O's where I met my friends.
    I went out to Jackie O’s with some of my friends and boyfriend. I decided to wear my marker to see how I would feel wearing it alone in a group of people I am comfortable around. As I have experienced each time, strangers gave me funny looks and tended to immediately look away after realizing what I had on my face. However, my friends were not afraid to ask me why I had a Hulk band-aid on my face. Each one asked me what was on my face as soon as they saw me and I explained it was for a class project. I said how this marker is supposed to identify me as “different” in a sea of “normal” people, in order to see how others react. They all thought it was an interesting project and after that treated me normally. After I realized I was accepted and treated “normally,” I barely noticed my marker. Even though I was wearing the marker alone, I did not feel alone like I did in the grocery store. My friends did not judge me based on it, but rather treated me as part of the group. It was almost like having my group in Clip and Baker, but they didn’t have the marker on. This makes me think as long as I was with other people that treated me like a “normal” person, I was able to feel comfortable and accepted into society rather than an outsider imposing on other people’s space.
    I did have an interesting conversation about my marker with a person I had just met at Jackie O’s, we will call him Jim. Jim is a friend of one of my friends I was meeting at the restaurant, so this was my first time interacting with him. After a while, one of my other friends brought up my marker and I, again, explained the project. Overhearing the conversation, Jim looked at me and told me he was wondering about the band-aid all night, but was too afraid to ask. I laughed and asked him why. He explained he wasn’t sure what it was and didn’t want to offend me or hurt my feelings by asking. I thought this was a typical response of strangers or acquaintance with the marker. I looked different from my friends, but Jim was too afraid to inquire about it because he barely knew me. Instead, he just made assumptions about me and my marker. Although I realize he was trying to be polite, I would have much rather him ask about my marker in order to get it out in the open. That way we could discuss what was different about me, move on, and I would feel comfortable and accepted. I think after this experience, it is important to acknowledge what is different about people and accept these differences. Without this our society makes assumptions about others and even decides what is best for them. Thus, we need to start having open conversations in order to make everyone feel “normal.”

Location 8: CVS at State Street-October 11, from 5-5:30PM (Maria)



This experience was more interesting than I had expected. I thought I would at least get one question, but this was not the case.

I went to CVS because I needed to get some allergy medication and tissues. The store itself was pretty empty. There were maybe around 5 other customers and several employees. Walking in through the front doors I started to feel some dread. I was wearing a spiderman bandaid on my face, alone, on a Saturday evening in CVS. But my entrance was actually uneventful. I quickly made my way to the allergy medicine and looked at all my options. At this point there is another woman in the aisle not very close to me. I decided to call my mother for some allergy medicine advice (like what did I take when I was 5, the last time I had allergies). We were on the phone for a few minutes. At this point the other woman in the aisle got closer to where I was standing and looked at me, but with no incredulous expression. I continued my conversation and picked up some meds. Then I started pacing the aisles looking for tissues. I walked around the ‘home goods/food’ aisles for a few minutes. The tissues were not where I thought they would be so I walked to the front counter to ask the cashier where I could find them.  He was quick to offer help and started to come around from behind the counter to walk me to where the tissues were. I said thanks and that I could find them at that point but then another employee approached and offered to take me to the aisle. I followed her and she walked me to the exact spot where the tissues were hidden in the makeup and hair aisles. I thanked her and was then left alone. Throughout this interaction with the two, neither looked at me strangely. After choosing a tissue box, I went back to the cashier to check out. He was friendly and smiling, but I didn’t feel like it had to do with the bandaid. And so I left without any negative or unwelcoming experience. I wonder if by nature of being a pharmacy where people deal with purchasing health related and personal items, the employees know or are trained to treat customers neutrally or all the same, despite apparent ailments or issues. The extra help I was getting with personal escort to the tissues felt like almost too much to me. Did having a bandaid on my face make me look like I was having a rough time and needed to be treated with kindness and assistance? I was honestly confused about their location, but they only needed to tell me the number of the aisle. Perhaps the bandaid incited sympathy. or maybe I just looked insane or weird and they wanted me to leave as soon as possible. It would be interesting to do follow up interviews to see what the employees were actually thinking. This was the first time I really felt curious about the thoughts of others during this assignment since they did not react in the way I expected them to. The employees could have been genuinely nice and unconcerned about the bandaid or they could have been on edge/ confused and wishing for me to leave. With this experience and with the group experiences in Baker, I can understand how outward appearance can affect how others treat you as well as how it affects one's own thoughts and actions. Like how McIntosh (2004) lists everything she doesn't have to worry about as being related to her race, I can see how corporeal markings (or lack of) can create a similar affect. With this CVS experience, I wasn't sure if the marker was a factor in how I was treated or not.

Location 9: China Fortune-October 13, from 5:30-6:30PM (Terri)



Outside view of China Fortune located on West Stimson Ave.

I deliberately chose a Monday to wear my marker to work as I know there is a group of regular customers that comes in every Monday without fail. I definitely felt more self-conscious going in alone. I was greeted with a barrage of questions from my co-workers that start from concern that I might have cut myself in the face to amusement once I tried to explain what this social experiment is about.  
As a waitress, people will have to deal with my marker because I will be in their space asking them for their orders. There is almost no way they can pull back to avoid me unless they specifically ask for a change of waitress. I was a little worried if that would happen and it does give you food for thought to think if it was something you cannot change. Most people who frequent this restaurant are repeat customers and have seen me around serving them without the marker. I do wonder if the restaurant would have hired me if I had a marker the first time I applied for the job or if the customers were as tolerant if they have never seen me before.
While the restaurant is considered public space, it was still space I was familiar with. Even thought I was alone with my marker, I was with people I was familiar with. They treated me normally with no difference and that helped me to ‘forget’ my marker on my face. I could go about doing my job with no problem.
Almost all of my regular customers asked with concern if I had cut myself. As mentioned, they knew me from before and were familiar enough to ask me directly about my marker. There were certainly two defined groups of customer, one that come out right and ask from the moment they saw it and another that just ignore the marker on my face. They would glance at it and then look away. However since they cannot walk away or avoid me, they tend to just pretend it was not there. 

Discussion 

Overall, we all felt it was easier to navigate through space as a group, especially with large crowds, rather than alone. If this marker were something we could not change, we all believe we would do numerous things to navigate from place to place. First, we would prefer to travel with other people marked like ourselves or with people who know and understand our marker, as it made us feel more comfortable. Second, if we did have to travel alone to a place we would think carefully about where and when to go to this specific place. This way we would avoid unnecessary attention from people who would judge and ridicule us. We would even avoid certain places that made us feel uncomfortable. This idea reminds us of the Design Studio for Social Intervention paper (“Spatial Justice”), which discusses the three components of spatial justice. We felt our rights to spatial justice would be taken away if this marker was permanent. We all feel as if we would not be safe in certain areas, taking away our right to spatial claims. Many of our journals express that we felt uncomfortable in spaces and felt as if we were outsiders. Thus, taking away our right to thrive and express ourselves fully, which is the right spatial power. Finally, due to the fact that we felt we would avoid certain spaces with our maker, our right to spatial links was taken away, as we would not feel we would access all places and their resources. Therefore, if our marker was permanent we would navigate space much differently than if we were a "normal" individual.
Further, if this corporeal marking were used to identify us as a member of a specific group in order to be monitored we feel we would feel the same way as above. However, since the marking would be specifiably to identify us as an inferior group, we would feel much less safe in certain areas. We would probably even avoid going out as much as possible in order to avoid this scared feelings. This reminds us of the hooks (1990) article in which she explains how a black women felt unsafe walking through a white neighborhood as she explains they looked at her with hate. Further, hooks (1990) explains how the private sphere, the home, works as a site of resistance where black women can feel safe and thrive in this surrounding. We can understand this feeling, as we believe people with corporeal markings would want to stay in the private sphere in order to feel more secure and accepted rather than going out into the public.






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